Reading this, I find myself, first, celebrating the way you've been able to create your own unique life and voice, and how courage to follow your heart has made it possible. The relationship between courage and love--love of life, love of being, love of Self, shines through your words.
Second, I'm reflecting on my own evolution with fear. It was perhaps in my college years, when I began to learn to recognize a certain distinctive kind of fear--the kind arising when faced with something I wanted to explore and grow, but that I didn't at all feel equal to. Showing up with a couple of poems, the first I'd ever written, at the office of a famous writing teacher at college hoping for a place in his class; he looked at them, gave a sort-of appreciative grunt, and then asked, "you've been writing for a while? These are examples of what you've been doing?" I nodded yes, he welcomed me to the class, and I left his office in panic--what had I just gotten myself into?
Over and over, I've learned to move into that kind of fear--whether for an adventure, a task, or into committing myself finally to marriage (a moment of sheer terror!). There is also another kind of fear--the fear of doing or saying something that really isn't right for me, maybe because it just doesn't feel right, or maybe it feels like something I feel I should want to do...but in my heart of hearts, I don't, and fear arises as a warning. And it hasn't always been easy to tell the difference between these two types of fear.
So many layers of fear we deal with. Thank you, Michael, for your perceptive and thoughtful response. Of course love is the answer, yet I’d kind of forgotten that. Is it still fear when we wish to maintain our integrity, or is an inner warning that feels uncomfortable, so we think it’s fear of not doing what is expected of us, yet we know it’s not what we want? How fascinating it is to explore the many shades and shapes of fear.
Going around Europe at 17 must have been a great experience of freedom and growth. And you found your own way back from the mountain. Great points on fear too Josie. Giving in to it really holds us back.
Thanks, Alegria, it was amazing, and I realise how lucky I was. The world seemed safer then, even though it likely wasnt. I appreciate your comment. Thanks for reading.
Thank you, Josie for this thoughtful reflection on fear. Life is indeed a stage. What a play we are participating in!!!
On reading your posting, several thoughts arise.
One initial thought is how visceral the experience of fear is for me. I have learned over time to notice it sooner when it constricts my body. I experience a posture of submission and victimhood. "ALERT" "ALERT" "ALERT" constriction is happening! When I recognize this constriction, taking time to pause and acknowledge the fear is so important.
One step for me is to remember that fear is something I feel is imposed upon me. Something external that comes at me. When I recognize this and remember to access my innate inner resources, I experience a shift so that a positive and soothing energy now flows outward from within me. There is expansion instead of contraction. Again, this is visceral. Muscles relax. Victimhood immediately lessens its hold on me. Although I am no longer defined by the external circumstances, I am certainly subject to the realities I find myself in. However, I am now in a much better position to make appropriate decisions about the best course of action to take.
Recently, I had a situation where I felt afraid of how to manage supporting my friend as she in the last weeks of her life. I questioned my ability to "fully be there for her." What arose was a deep conviction that this was my path. It was crystal clear that it wasn't important how I did it. What was important was that I do my best. The boon was the absolute clarity that I had. Reflecting in it now I see that this clarity and my deep conviction allowed the fear to dissipate.
As I spent night after night with my friend until she left her body, there was no wavering in this conviction. This experience turned out to be such a gift to me. I was no martyr. I was engaging in what I was meant to be doing. On the outside it could easily be described as difficult and in many ways it was. That did not really matter.
These are some of the thoughts that arise for me in reflecting on fear. Fear may arise because I am in danger, and I need to respond to that appropriately. However, most of the time that I experience fear, it is because my mind has bought into a story. This story may be of my own making or it may be something others want to impose upon me. It is important to step back to witness what is going on and to consider whether I can access some inner strength to neutralize the fear. How can I gain clarity on the proper path to take? What a lot of practice I need for this to be automatic. Yet, that I am ever able to do it is in itself a true gift. And, I hope to continue to identify and step beyond unnecessary fears that come my way.
Thank you again, Josie, for prompting these reflections!
Thank you for your deep and thoughtful contribution to this discussion on fear, Connie. I especially love your words: "It was crystal clear that it wasn't important how I did it. What was important was that I do my best." So very true.
I find it inspiring that you were able to be so fully present for your friend as she transitioned, and the clarity and conviction you experienced through overcoming your natural fear of this situation. I feel honoured that you have taken the time to both read my words and add your own wisdom. Fear is something we all face in our lives, how great that we can support one another by sharing our experiences.
Josie, I love your idea of, "butterflies in my stomach in formation, supporting me as I speak, bringing their energy to my words." Although sometimes mine fly kamikaze missions😂
But now I’ll practice reframing this to bringing their energy to my words and supporting me!🥰🦋
I also love this powerful reminder that fear is a doorway, not a wall—and freedom waits on the other side. May we all cultivate the courage to step through the doorway♥️🙏🕊️
Several of the clarity related essays this week have addressed fear and courage. I've gotten away from living with the courage I once did. I'll be bookmarking this essay. (And that phrase by Frank Herbert is one of my favorites! That entire paragraph from Dune has hung on my bathroom mirror ... I'd like to get back to memorizing it.)
They are powerful words for sure, Cora. Fascinating to see how much a writer’s words can affect people. When I searched for it, to check I have remembered it correctly, I discovered how much this fear litany means to many. Thanks for reading and connecting.
I really enjoyed this Josie. It reminded me of times when I hadn't let fear hold me back, as well as touch in on the sadness of missed opportunities and experiences when I have felt fastened in the strait jacket of fear. Sadly, my writing life has been, and still is, where I limit myself and stay misguidedly safely, and sadly, stuck behind a solid wall of fear. Thank goodness for writers like you in this community, who keep offering windows to a sky full of free flying birds!! Bless you 🙏
Love this - especially the realisation that we are each a manifestation of a single universal intelligent energy, but have often lost sight of that behind taking all our feelings seriously (including fear of the stories we make up).
Reading this, I find myself, first, celebrating the way you've been able to create your own unique life and voice, and how courage to follow your heart has made it possible. The relationship between courage and love--love of life, love of being, love of Self, shines through your words.
Second, I'm reflecting on my own evolution with fear. It was perhaps in my college years, when I began to learn to recognize a certain distinctive kind of fear--the kind arising when faced with something I wanted to explore and grow, but that I didn't at all feel equal to. Showing up with a couple of poems, the first I'd ever written, at the office of a famous writing teacher at college hoping for a place in his class; he looked at them, gave a sort-of appreciative grunt, and then asked, "you've been writing for a while? These are examples of what you've been doing?" I nodded yes, he welcomed me to the class, and I left his office in panic--what had I just gotten myself into?
Over and over, I've learned to move into that kind of fear--whether for an adventure, a task, or into committing myself finally to marriage (a moment of sheer terror!). There is also another kind of fear--the fear of doing or saying something that really isn't right for me, maybe because it just doesn't feel right, or maybe it feels like something I feel I should want to do...but in my heart of hearts, I don't, and fear arises as a warning. And it hasn't always been easy to tell the difference between these two types of fear.
So many layers of fear we deal with. Thank you, Michael, for your perceptive and thoughtful response. Of course love is the answer, yet I’d kind of forgotten that. Is it still fear when we wish to maintain our integrity, or is an inner warning that feels uncomfortable, so we think it’s fear of not doing what is expected of us, yet we know it’s not what we want? How fascinating it is to explore the many shades and shapes of fear.
Going around Europe at 17 must have been a great experience of freedom and growth. And you found your own way back from the mountain. Great points on fear too Josie. Giving in to it really holds us back.
Thanks, Alegria, it was amazing, and I realise how lucky I was. The world seemed safer then, even though it likely wasnt. I appreciate your comment. Thanks for reading.
It certainly did seem safer then. When I think about the things I got up to as a teenager, I know I’d never do those things today.
My pleasure Josie.
Thank you, Josie for this thoughtful reflection on fear. Life is indeed a stage. What a play we are participating in!!!
On reading your posting, several thoughts arise.
One initial thought is how visceral the experience of fear is for me. I have learned over time to notice it sooner when it constricts my body. I experience a posture of submission and victimhood. "ALERT" "ALERT" "ALERT" constriction is happening! When I recognize this constriction, taking time to pause and acknowledge the fear is so important.
One step for me is to remember that fear is something I feel is imposed upon me. Something external that comes at me. When I recognize this and remember to access my innate inner resources, I experience a shift so that a positive and soothing energy now flows outward from within me. There is expansion instead of contraction. Again, this is visceral. Muscles relax. Victimhood immediately lessens its hold on me. Although I am no longer defined by the external circumstances, I am certainly subject to the realities I find myself in. However, I am now in a much better position to make appropriate decisions about the best course of action to take.
Recently, I had a situation where I felt afraid of how to manage supporting my friend as she in the last weeks of her life. I questioned my ability to "fully be there for her." What arose was a deep conviction that this was my path. It was crystal clear that it wasn't important how I did it. What was important was that I do my best. The boon was the absolute clarity that I had. Reflecting in it now I see that this clarity and my deep conviction allowed the fear to dissipate.
As I spent night after night with my friend until she left her body, there was no wavering in this conviction. This experience turned out to be such a gift to me. I was no martyr. I was engaging in what I was meant to be doing. On the outside it could easily be described as difficult and in many ways it was. That did not really matter.
These are some of the thoughts that arise for me in reflecting on fear. Fear may arise because I am in danger, and I need to respond to that appropriately. However, most of the time that I experience fear, it is because my mind has bought into a story. This story may be of my own making or it may be something others want to impose upon me. It is important to step back to witness what is going on and to consider whether I can access some inner strength to neutralize the fear. How can I gain clarity on the proper path to take? What a lot of practice I need for this to be automatic. Yet, that I am ever able to do it is in itself a true gift. And, I hope to continue to identify and step beyond unnecessary fears that come my way.
Thank you again, Josie, for prompting these reflections!
Thank you for your deep and thoughtful contribution to this discussion on fear, Connie. I especially love your words: "It was crystal clear that it wasn't important how I did it. What was important was that I do my best." So very true.
I find it inspiring that you were able to be so fully present for your friend as she transitioned, and the clarity and conviction you experienced through overcoming your natural fear of this situation. I feel honoured that you have taken the time to both read my words and add your own wisdom. Fear is something we all face in our lives, how great that we can support one another by sharing our experiences.
Josie, I love your idea of, "butterflies in my stomach in formation, supporting me as I speak, bringing their energy to my words." Although sometimes mine fly kamikaze missions😂
But now I’ll practice reframing this to bringing their energy to my words and supporting me!🥰🦋
I also love this powerful reminder that fear is a doorway, not a wall—and freedom waits on the other side. May we all cultivate the courage to step through the doorway♥️🙏🕊️
Several of the clarity related essays this week have addressed fear and courage. I've gotten away from living with the courage I once did. I'll be bookmarking this essay. (And that phrase by Frank Herbert is one of my favorites! That entire paragraph from Dune has hung on my bathroom mirror ... I'd like to get back to memorizing it.)
They are powerful words for sure, Cora. Fascinating to see how much a writer’s words can affect people. When I searched for it, to check I have remembered it correctly, I discovered how much this fear litany means to many. Thanks for reading and connecting.
I really enjoyed this Josie. It reminded me of times when I hadn't let fear hold me back, as well as touch in on the sadness of missed opportunities and experiences when I have felt fastened in the strait jacket of fear. Sadly, my writing life has been, and still is, where I limit myself and stay misguidedly safely, and sadly, stuck behind a solid wall of fear. Thank goodness for writers like you in this community, who keep offering windows to a sky full of free flying birds!! Bless you 🙏
Thank you, Vicki. I look forward to you spreading your beautiful wings and flying freely. Much love to you xxx
Love this - especially the realisation that we are each a manifestation of a single universal intelligent energy, but have often lost sight of that behind taking all our feelings seriously (including fear of the stories we make up).
So much forgetting and remembering! What a game it all is. Thanks for reading and responding, Erica.