Rites of Passage

Reflections on the importance of ritual in our lives

Last week I watched around three hundred young creatives receive a large gold-foil-wrapped chocolate coin from Dawn French, chancellor of Falmouth University, as part of their graduation ceremony. My granddaughter was one of them. As she walked across the stage in her cap and gown to shake Dawn’s hand a wave of emotions swept over me: pride, joy, excitement, wonder and love; so much heart-swelling love that hot, salty tears rolled down my cheeks as I clapped and hooted enthusiastically.

Abi and Alisha: Company Aether

Graduation is a rite of passage. A ritual created over the past nine hundred years, dating back to the first universities in Europe in the twelfth century. My granddaughter said her gown was alternately slipping off her shoulders or strangling her, and the hat kept falling off until a friend gave her some hair clips. This made me curious about why graduates wear such strange outfits. Apparently, the gowns worn by early scholars and clergy were long and hooded to keep them warm as they huddled over books and parchments in draughty buildings.

Our lives, and those of our loved ones, are highlighted with these significant occasions, these rites of passage: birth; first day of school; moving up to secondary school (otherwise known as big school here in the UK, when the child transitions from being a big fish in a small pond, to becoming a tiddler in an ocean heaving with hormones); puberty; adulthood; freshers’ week at university, or first week at work; graduation; first home; marriage or moving in with ‘the one’ or choosing to be your own ‘one’; retiring; and death.

Over time we have developed many rituals and ceremonies for these moments of transition in our lives. For the past week I have been pondering the relationship between rite and ritual, asking what makes these big shifts memorable for us? What is the essence of crossing these thresholds, and what can we do to support both ourselves and our loved ones to thrive as we sail into unknown seas?

Rite and ritual share the same roots, the Latin ritus, solemn ceremony, social custom or act, and the Sanskrit rta, cosmic order, a natural and proper way of doing things. Connection with something deeper, universal and sacred is at the heart of all rites and rituals. I believe we need ritual in our lives, and often find much of modern-day ceremony somehow empty and lacking the deep connection we crave.

The graduation ceremony did a great job of honouring the students for their hard work, determination and perseverance over the past three years. There was sufficient pomp, parades and ceremonial robes to make it an occasion. Dawn French’s speech was inspirational and funny, and she acknowledged the importance of creativity and encouraged this cohort of dancers, actors, musicians, architects and event coordinators to be courageous and follow their creative dreams.

And the most moving part of the day was watching families take photos of be-gowned loved ones, the joy and laughter as friends hugged, posed, drank, tossed hats and celebrated the fact that they had done it and were moving on to the next stage of their lives.

Dance and Choreography class of 2025. Falmouth University photo by Delia Chamberlain

A week before graduation we had a celebration meal in my daughter’s home in Wales. I wanted to honour this threshold in my granddaughter’s life: she has completed sixteen years of full-time education, she will be moving to a new city, sharing her first home with her partner (and they cannot wait to have an entire fridge to themselves after three years of student housing), searching for work, and following her creative dreams. She is transitioning into independence for the first time in her life.

That evening we had a little ceremony to invoke blessings for her and her partner. I lit a candle and waved arati to them both. Arati is a beautiful form of worship which I learned in India. A light is waved to the left, the right and in a clockwise circle in front of the object of worship, which could be a person, a picture, a tree or anything else the person waving the light wishes to honour. It feels like a sacred act, because it is a sacred act, simultaneously connecting both the worshipper and the worshipped to one another and to the cosmic force that flows through all.

While I was waving the light I offered my blessings: words of love and words of encouragement and inspiration.

Then their mothers wrapped shawls around them, signifying the love and protection which would always be with them. More words of love and blessings were spoken. It was a profound and beautiful moment, and will stay with all of us.

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When we take the time to truly connect with the essence of these times of transition, to reflect on the threshold we, or our loved ones, are crossing, to look back at where we have been and to look forward to where we are going, all we have achieved and learned to reach this moment, and then to invoke and invite blessings for the path ahead, we connect with the power of infinite possibilities, and we align ourselves with that energy, however we perceive it.

We then cross the next threshold of our lives fully conscious, aware, awake. We invite the fates, the cosmic energy, the winds of wonder, to dance at our sides. We attune our inner knower, our intuition, to recognise those subtle, or not-so-subtle hints that signify the opening of doors of opportunity and to have the courage to cross new thresholds, and to explore the miracles life is offering us.

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I invite you to reflect on the rites of passage in your own life, and in those of your dear ones. Perhaps one is approaching soon. Ask yourself what is the essence of this moment? What qualities or boons would I wish for? What have I learned on my journey to this moment?

May you, your family and friends celebrate each rite of passage awake, aware and joyful.

May the universe speak clearly and may blessings flow freely on your unique journey through this life.

May you learn from the challenges, share your wisdom and always always recognise the love that is present.

with love,

Josie

Here is a bonus for you, Alisha and Abi’s graduation dance company performance: Habitat Unknown.